Friday, April 18, 2003
Thanks to everyone who wrote me emails; I haven't been able to get to all of them yet, but I will answer as many as I can. Thank you for all your comments and suggestions!
What It Feels Like For A Girl, Part 2
As far as being a woman in the local mosque, I'll list here the differences between men and women:
*Women get a small room entered from the side of the mosque, instead of the front, to pray in. The men's section is much larger, though it should be noted that while men are supposed to come to Friday prayer, women are not required to. This structure makes it impossible to see the imam (prayer leader), whether praying or giving a sermon on Friday. In some mosques, the women's section is placed directly behind the men, so one can see, but it is to be noted that women always pray behind the men. Most annoying for me, the small children also go with the women, and often cause quite a ruckus, something the men don't have to put up with!
*Women are also generally segregated from men, so there are men's groups and women's groups, and very little mixing. And in Islamic countries, especially the strict ones, this carries over to all aspects of life. I've often wondered how men and women are supposed to understand each other when they don't even talk to each other!
*The rules regarding prayer--women are not supposed to pray when they are menstruating, or fast, or enter the mosque (at least the prayer area) or even touch a copy of the Qur'an, because they are considered to be unclean. Prayers missed this way do not have to be made up, but Ramadan fasts do.
*There is of course the dress code--women are supposed to wear baggy clothes going all the way down to their ankles, wrists, and neck, and cover their hair with a scarf, though this is often adhered to not-very-strictly, especially the scarf part. Many girls and women never wear a scarf outside the mosque. Not more than a few wear niqab (face veil), though it should be noted that those who would are also less likely to leave the house, in my experience.
*Then there's all the rules regarding women in Shari'ah, which is a topic in itself (though they are not followed very much in non-Islamic countries--women get Western divorces so they can get the children and more money, for example!).
*Only men run the mosque, the imam and all those responsible for the mosque are men. Women do run the small Islamic school, but not the actual mosque.
*Interestingly, many women are not in the least submissive, not shy to argue with their spouses or the imam if they feel they are being taken advantage of--though I suppose those that are submissive are those you never hear about--or from!
*Manipulation is a high art among women who can't directly ask the men in their lives for what they want or need.
*Although the official line is that the man must support his wife, in fact many Muslim women do work, though many in traditionally women's jobs such as child care or teaching or nursing. Also, large numbers of Muslim young women are going to university, which will allow them to acquire good jobs. However, it is also true that some Muslim men feel that education is wasted on women, who are just going to stay home with the children anyway.
*In all, it is a confusing blend of East and West: Eastern, Islamic, and Arab (Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi, African, etc.) ideas conflicting with Western ideas of rights and Western technology--it seems as if almost every woman has a cell phone! The second- and third-generation Muslims tend to be more Westernized, and even those young people who came to America become quite Americanized (always going off to the mall or to a burger place). I suppose we will have to wait and see what becomes of all this.
As far as being a woman in the local mosque, I'll list here the differences between men and women:
*Women get a small room entered from the side of the mosque, instead of the front, to pray in. The men's section is much larger, though it should be noted that while men are supposed to come to Friday prayer, women are not required to. This structure makes it impossible to see the imam (prayer leader), whether praying or giving a sermon on Friday. In some mosques, the women's section is placed directly behind the men, so one can see, but it is to be noted that women always pray behind the men. Most annoying for me, the small children also go with the women, and often cause quite a ruckus, something the men don't have to put up with!
*Women are also generally segregated from men, so there are men's groups and women's groups, and very little mixing. And in Islamic countries, especially the strict ones, this carries over to all aspects of life. I've often wondered how men and women are supposed to understand each other when they don't even talk to each other!
*The rules regarding prayer--women are not supposed to pray when they are menstruating, or fast, or enter the mosque (at least the prayer area) or even touch a copy of the Qur'an, because they are considered to be unclean. Prayers missed this way do not have to be made up, but Ramadan fasts do.
*There is of course the dress code--women are supposed to wear baggy clothes going all the way down to their ankles, wrists, and neck, and cover their hair with a scarf, though this is often adhered to not-very-strictly, especially the scarf part. Many girls and women never wear a scarf outside the mosque. Not more than a few wear niqab (face veil), though it should be noted that those who would are also less likely to leave the house, in my experience.
*Then there's all the rules regarding women in Shari'ah, which is a topic in itself (though they are not followed very much in non-Islamic countries--women get Western divorces so they can get the children and more money, for example!).
*Only men run the mosque, the imam and all those responsible for the mosque are men. Women do run the small Islamic school, but not the actual mosque.
*Interestingly, many women are not in the least submissive, not shy to argue with their spouses or the imam if they feel they are being taken advantage of--though I suppose those that are submissive are those you never hear about--or from!
*Manipulation is a high art among women who can't directly ask the men in their lives for what they want or need.
*Although the official line is that the man must support his wife, in fact many Muslim women do work, though many in traditionally women's jobs such as child care or teaching or nursing. Also, large numbers of Muslim young women are going to university, which will allow them to acquire good jobs. However, it is also true that some Muslim men feel that education is wasted on women, who are just going to stay home with the children anyway.
*In all, it is a confusing blend of East and West: Eastern, Islamic, and Arab (Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi, African, etc.) ideas conflicting with Western ideas of rights and Western technology--it seems as if almost every woman has a cell phone! The second- and third-generation Muslims tend to be more Westernized, and even those young people who came to America become quite Americanized (always going off to the mall or to a burger place). I suppose we will have to wait and see what becomes of all this.